Robbie Williams Told To Butt Out!

Robbie Williams has rattled the patience of the anti-smoking lobby by dragging on a cigarette in front of more than 52,000 people at his first show in Brisbane. A spokesman for Health Minister Stephen Robertson said while it was illegal to smoke at public venues, Robbie was a visitor to both Australia and Queensland and he might not have been aware of the anti-smoking laws and how seriously Queenslanders regarded them. "We hope there's not a repeat performance tonight," Mr Robertson said yesterday. The spokesman would not say what penalties the pop star would face if he became a repeat offender. Queensland Cancer Fund manager Susan Greenbank took a more tongue-in-cheek approach; "Robbie is a very bad boy and there are a number of staff at the Queensland Cancer Fund who would be more than willing to give him a stern talking to," she said. I bet she has some special punishment for naughty Robbie.
See, in the beginning, I couldn't stand Robbie Williams. In fact, anyone who was remotely connected with a boy band made me sick to my stomach. Then suddenly, as if from a flash of mainstream hoodoo voodoo, I was smitten. See, I think he's probably revolting in real life. He's all laddy and I'm a reformed drug addict and all of you are a complete losers if you even look at a Bex. See, there is a distinct line between performers and their real life personas. They can be a right ol' ning-nong tosser and I couldn't care less as long as they tickle my fancy bone.

When he teamed up with Kylie Minogue, I thought it was such a miss match. You see, Kylie has no sexuality. She is one of those nymphs that just floats about singing and occasionally kissing someone on the cheek. As for Robbie, he explodes with sexuality. He's admitted that he's been with everyone and everything.

I thought that his song with Nicole Kidman was sort of pathetic but who cares. It was just interesting to see them together. I think that Robbie seriously at one stage thought he was the next in line after Tom Cruise.

Now, picking Daryl Hannah for his music video was sheer brilliance. That liaison I could understand. Something extra, well Daryl has this little secret in the palm of her hand. A half finger to be exact. When she makes some movies they digitally enhance the finger so that she doesn't look freakish. I wonder if she still thinks about JFK junior. Her replacement looked similar. I wonder if she ever wonders that it could of been ol' Daryl in that plane.

Now Noel Gallagher is having some sort of war of words against poor ol' Robbie about the state of his mental health. I heard that these two were as thick as thieves. It coincided with Oasis being rehashed so I think it was just so he could get his name on my blog.

All this smoke from Robbie seems to have blown over my dear ol' town of Melbourne. Here it is just a few days ago. We were all coughing and splattering around the place because of all the damn bush fires everywhere. An eerie, orange light glowed all day and into the night. I didn't want to go outside.

One day later and now look at us. Thank goodness it all seems to be under control. Everyone is breathing. Everyone is glad that no one was hurt (except all the native animals that everyone is desperately trying to rescue) and everyone is going about their business to Santa's little bell. Ting-a-ling-ling.