The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Twin rare white lion cubs from Mogo Zoo on the New South Wales South Coast run around at Lavender Green, Luna Park, Sydney. Mogo Zoo's breeding of two litters of white lion cubs in the space of just three months brings their pride of white lions to 7. The 8-week old twins are white in color due to a recessive gene called 'the chinchilla mutation' and have been extinct in the wild for over 12 years.

A smuggled orangutan sits caged in Halim Perdanakusumah Airport, Jakarta, Indonesia. Forty six smuggled orangutan from a Thai amusement park are to eventually to fly home to their native Indonesia. The trafficked animals, many of them forced to stage mock kick-boxing bouts were confiscated from Bangkok's Safari World theme park several years ago. DNA tests prove they had come from the island of Borneo in Indonesia. After their short transit in Jakarta, they will fly to Nyaru Menteng Orangutan Reintroduction Center in Central Kalimantan, Borneo.

Winner Pat Bertoletti of Chicago (left) tries to stuff as much turkey as he can in his pathetic gob while current champion Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas (right) of Virginia has trouble swallowing her lot as they compete in the 'Thanksgiving Invitational Turkey-Eating Championship' at Artie's Delicatessen, New York. Bertoletti won by devouring 2.177 kg of turkey in 12 minutes - the "The Black Widow" failed to measure up this time.

Alien vs. Predator - You Decide!

Michael Jackson receives the 'Diamond Award' on stage during the 2006 World Music Awards at Earls Court in London. "There have been so many who have loved and stood by me for the 25 years I have been in the entertainment industry. I'd like to thank my children particularly - Paris, Prince Michael and Blanket (Prince Michael II) for their unconditional love. I love all my fans from the bottom of my heart."

The 'Diamond Award' signifies selling at least 100 million albums. As this is a feat in itself I'll give him that. That's as far as I'll go. Oh, no I'll give him the fact that he's persisted with his facial surgery for so long and has entertain us all for years. Yes and Neverland, I'll give him that as well. The thing is, I was in a dilemma about something. I was impressed by Michael's appearance but I'm also wondering about something else.

Do you think you know what it is? Come on look into Michael's eyes and see if you can decode the title of this post. Michael, Michael - Is there anyone out there that is as freaky as you? Come on, you know you want to tell, maybe you can sing it softly to us....


What's this! Someone else has started to do the crotch grabbing, zombie dance! Michael what's happening? Chris Brown performed the hit "Thriller" on stage during the awards with Michael giggling behind a curtain somewhere.


The atmosphere was slimed with zombie goo and the disappointment of the loyal few. Michael thought he would deflate the sadness with a few bars from 'We Are The World' with all the lovely children drawing around to pipe into the chorus. Boos came from the arena, panic and then calm. Yes everyone read Michael's eyes. They said that the only thing that would beat him in the headlines was Tomkat's wedding.

Tom Cruise and his fiancee Katie Holmes holding their daughter Suri arrive at a restaurant in central Rome. They are expected to marry at the weekend, in the Odescalchi Castle, in the lakeside town of Bracciano near the Italian capital.

The Black Ball

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise pose with model Iman at "The Black Ball" presented by Conde Nast Media Group and hosted by Alicia Keys and Iman to benefit "Keep A Child Alive" at Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City. Of course when I see a photo like this I can't let it rest. I'm intrigued by the people in it and what they represent. I thought I'd reflect on relationships and how they can influence your life and your career. Let me start with Tom Cruise.

When Tom Cruise made Born On The Fourth Of July I was more than impressed. It was a great film and one that led me to believe that Tom Cruise had some depth to him. I said had as I can't see anything in him now that reflects any sort of introspection or deep thought. He is blank. Gone to that other place that only loonies can go. Let me get back to the film. See, at this stage he was with Nicole Kidman. To my understanding she never joined the Scientology pack and seemed to challenge Cruise on many things. A worker from a hotel they stayed in Sydney said that he would hear them yelling and screaming at each other for hours from their hotel room. They would laugh merrily when caught as if it was all 'method acting'. In a way this sounds healthy. Two upstarts trying to out do each other. I see his relationship with Katie Holmes so terribly out of whack with all that is right and good. She seemed to convert to that space spawn ministry with the speed of a whippet. She skidded into this relationship loaded with memories of teenage dreams with the ultimate being 'married to Tom Cruise'. Pregnancy burst on to our televisions sets with the speed of a miraculous conception. I always thought that Cruise had a low sperm count and that's why Kidman found it hard to get pregnant (impotence and a small member had also been whispered around the traps) but then who am I to know?

Iman and David Bowie's relationship has always mystified as well. Suddenly he's settled down with a wife and child and happy to just be a house husband and listen to jazz. She sees him as 'the love of her life' and there it is. Look to be honest when I went to see Bowie's 'The Serious Moonlight' tour of '83 I was in love with him too. I couldn't get enough of him. I despised Catherine Deneuve for turning him into the living dead in The Hunger and like Candy Clark, I wanted to take good care of the poor ol' alien in The Man Who Fell To Earth.

David Bowie was always considered a swinger of sorts. Women to men and then men to women and then back again. I heard that he had it off with Mick Jagger more than once (I can't imagine how he got round that gaping mouth of his) but anyway, good luck to him. This brings me back to Iman. How can someone that's been around that traps like Bowie just be happy to sit around the house and make cups of tea? I don't buy it.

When Mick Jagger was with Marianne Faithfull I think his looks were at their peak. She unfortunately took an overdose and landed in hospital while he was making Ned Kelly.

Mel Brooks And David Hasselhoff Make Major Announcement

David Hasselhoff and Mel Brooks pose at the St. James Theatre in New York City. Brooks announced that Hasselhoff has been signed to perform as Roger DeBris in the Las Vegas production of "The Producers." See what I think is going on here is that Mel Brooks thinks Hasselhoff is going to pull in the broads and make him some big money i.e. the Baywatch phenomenon (apparently in its hey day, Baywatch was watched by over 1 billion people per week). He also sees beyond all the hoo-ha and the faux pas (i.e. drunken episodes in London etc.) and wants to give the Hoff a chance to shine in the city of lights. Hasselhoff on the other hand sees this as a chance to redeem himself: 'To work amongst the people, real acting - on a stage!'. Hasselhoff doesn't understand the non-believers, people that think he's is a drunken ol' fool with just enough talent to captivate a karaoke crowd. He is an innocent of sorts.

See this is what he sees in the mirror. A man on a mission. Someone that's been around the traps and knows a thing or two about charisma.

At night he sees himself like this. Fully charged and ready to go. He's a man's man and a woman's electric blanket.

He beholds grace and power too.

Oh Hoff you ol' fool, if only art had imitated life and it was Larry David in Vegas (season 4 of Curb Your Enthusiasm sees Larry performing "The Producers" on Broadway). Larry David has this uncanny way of tinkering with your funny bone and making it hurt.

A scene from an early Curb where Larry is disgusted by the girl sitting next to him. She gets to see the doctor first and Larry is left wondering why when you make an appointment at a doctors surgery, its first in first serve: "What in the hell were you doing in there for 45 minutes? Talking about old times?"

One of Larry's real life friends, Richard Lewis plays a friend of his in the show. Larry explains that Richard is one of those friends you can scream obscenities without any repercussions.